Humanist Ceremonies

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Humanist weddings/affirmations can be as formal or informal as the couple would like, and can take place anywhere, but because the couple have chosen the ceremony and their promises themselves, they take it all seriously even though it is a happy occasion.

Non-religious people are very likely to get married in a Register Office, where they can carry out the formal, legal part of getting married. (Indeed, by law no religious language is allowed in this kind of civil wedding.) But many people want something a bit more: they may want to choose their own words of commitment to each other, or read appropriate prose or poetry, or hear music which means something to them, in a place they have chosen.

They can ask friends or family to officiate at the wedding, but some people like to have an experienced "celebrant" to help them plan and conduct the ceremony. Humanist weddings can be as formal or informal as the couple would like, and can take place anywhere, but because the couple have chosen the ceremony and their promises themselves, they take it seriously even though it is a happy occasion.

Some religions will not conduct weddings for divorced couples or for couples of different faiths, or ceremonies for gay couples, but humanist ceremonies are available to everyone.

Ceremonies in Portugal

Whether planning a formal, white wedding, affirmation or something less conventional it is important that the marrying couple really enjoy it. Their wedding should be exactly where, when and how they want it to be.

A traditional church wedding, with ritual and religious words does not fit with everyone’s outlook on life or hopes for the future.

The laws governing Register Office weddings strictly control what can be said or done. These ceremonies are designed around a standard framework. It is not currently possible to be legally married out of doors and there are limitations on time, place and content of ceremonies.

A humanist wedding/affirmation can take place anywhere and be designed to suit the individuals. It may be as dignified and serious as a church wedding, but with the religious element replaced by words and music that have real meaning for the couple. They can be as romantic and creative in designing their ceremony as they wish. Humanist ceremonies have been held in gardens, marquees, on boats, in castles, on beaches.

Many couples choose to stand facing their guests, for a more open and inclusive feeling. Couples with children can make them a part of the ceremony. No two ceremonies are the same – they can be as traditional or as unusual as suits the people marrying.

Legalities

Couples regard the humanist ceremony as that which truly makes them husband and wife. It is the real celebration, expressing the deepest feeling in the company of all family and friends.

However it does not form a marriage contract in the legal sense. Most couples therefore also attend a Register Office in the UK , sometimes a short time before the humanist ceremony, to deal with the legal formalities and obtain a civil marriage certificate. It is not necessary to exchange rings at the Register Office.

Celebrants

Celebrants are friendly experienced people who can help prepare the words to be spoken, offer advice on readings and music, and explain the many small details that help make such a big occasion a success.

The celebrant usually meets or Talks with the couple several times before the wedding/affirmation, firstly to discuss ideas and answer questions, then to thoroughly plan and rehearse every aspect of the ceremony so they feel relaxed and confident of all going well. Due to the distancce involved this may be conducted over the internet or by phone, although it is usual to visit the Algarve beforehand to plan the "big" day. We can help with all aspects of this planning.

Cost

We will discuss fees at the first meeting. The amount may vary depending on the time needed and distances travelled but you will typically pay around €250.

The situation In Portugal

If you go ahead with any ceremony here I also strongly advise a Civil ceremony in the UK first. This can be just the two of you and two witnesses, and can be ahead of any other ceremony. The bureaucracy here in Portugal is something to be believed and as a 99% Catholic country the civil part of any marriage ceremony is usually conducted by a priest in the parish church and the difficulties in getting the necessary permissions and paperwork and actually finding a place to conduct the legal stuff, if you are not using a church, are too difficult to contemplate. This is particularly the case as the marriage here is a legal contract and as such you both have to understand the terms of it in Portuguese or a language you both understand. The only realistic way if you don't speak Portuguese is to get the whole thing translated into English as well and then conduct the "legals" in the two languages. Now there is a challenge.

As you may have found out that one of you at least needs to be "resident" ( for at least one month before applying for the civil permission) and then arrange more time the legals to be valid here in Portugal. Not very practical.

So in short I would strongly advise a civil ceremony (registry office) first in the UK. This also avoids any problems later with the marriage documentation when you get back to the UK- unlikely but possible. This can be followed by a non religious celebration/ceremony in Portugal afterwards- The real celebration rather than the legal documents !!

Manuel Netos dos Santos

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I am pleased to tell you that I have a really good friend, Manuel, who is conducting the ceremonies and is doing a fantastic job. He is very, very good and will agree in advance with you exactly what you want.

His partner Bert is also a florist, doing beautiful and artistic arrangements (See the photos on this page to see what his work is really like)

The ceremonies he has done so far have been first class and had great feedback. As well as having multiple language skills He is an author, poet, playwright and teacher (amongst everything else) and has great understanding of people. Also Bert is very talented with the floral side of things.

Of course my business is transport & I would be very happy to provide any airport transfers! I will look after you and your guests and give them a good rate if they tell me they are from your party!

The BHA Sharing the Future book gives a range of ideas, practical tips, sample ceremonies and a selection of poems and prose used by couples choosing a non-religious wedding ceremony.

Order the Sharing the future book (£6.50)